The most compassionate thing you can do is not write them off. Bring them into your heart. Their asshole-ness is covering up a non-acceptance of Self in themselves. When you accept your whole Self, when you accept all that you are and all that you experience, all the ‘world’, then you aren’t rejecting anything. You aren’t creating a sense of separation – all is you. So pull into your heart that someone, see that their behaviour comes from a lack of integration, a feeling of separation from their very own Self. Have compassion for this, for this is a very common – it’s the almost universal experience of human suffering. Accept this aspect in them, be forever forgiving and leave the door open for them to accept themselves and move into a more integrated and harmonious way of being. Always leave even the slimmest chance for change, it may take a lifetime but that’s ok, that’s what it is to be human – growing at our own pace, on our own ‘path’ of Self discovery.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about putting up with shit, I’m not talking about having to put up with this, being around an ‘asshole’ – sometimes you just have to physically walk away from someone. I’m talking about in your heart not rejecting that person, not to reject them for they are your very own Self. In rejecting them you are rejecting yourself. Embrace them in your heart, love them, love yourself. Love is the answer, not rejection, not alienation – do not ‘other-ise’ them or their behaviour. Don’t write off that person for being a lost cause, judge them and put yourself above them, as better than them. See that their behaviour comes from a place of suffering. See in your heart that this behaviour is playing out for them in a way that they cannot help, they are not choosing to do. All of their circumstance is at play, spontaneously giving rise to that particular behaviour. But that behaviour is not fundamentally them.
“Fundamentally, we are all compassionate & loving human beings. We are love.”
Have compassion on the deepest level, have compassion and forgiveness for their very human behaviour that breaks forth from the suffering that they experience. Love them with the fullness of your heart.
With Love ~Imogen